Saving a neighbours life

“I had been having a lot of terrible headaches.  On November 6, 2006, they got so bad that I didn’t go to work.  My neighbour, Josh,  who I had only had very little relationship with (only said “Hi” now and then), became interested in the fact that I had not left for work.  He came along and noticed that my truck was still in the backyard, got concerned and phoned up to Edmonton to see if they had heard from me.  They hadn’t, so Josh and his wife started looking through the windows and thought they saw something.  They called 911, came into my house and found me passed out on the floor.  I was taken to Red Deer hospital, and an hour later, to Foothills in Calgary, which is where I woke up.  I’d had a brain aneurism and it burst.  All I remember is having such bad, bad headaches, and then, ‘bang’, I woke up in Calgary.  My neighbour then became my best friend because he saved my life.  If it weren’t for Josh, I would not be here today.

 

Josh and his wife were just my neighbours – I didn’t really know them.  But after they helped me out, we became good friends.  He went through a divorce and got custody of his son, who called me Grandpa.  I used to babysit Jacob quite a bit when I got out of the hospital.  There is much to be thankful for when neighbours take an interest in each others lives.

Before the aneurism, we only knew each other as people living next to each other, that’s it.  But after my aneurism, Josh visited me in the hospital.  He also did lots of other things with me:  took me out for dinners, went to Westerner Days in Red Deer, the Ponoka Stampede, rafting on the Red Deer River, BBQs at his house, went to church with him, to Smitty’s Buffet, etc.  Josh bought guest passes for the Collicutt Centre, which is also when I taught his son how to swim when he was about 8 or 9.  It has been refreshing to see how our relationship has grown.

It took a brain aneurism on my part for my neighbour to invest, literally, in my life.  We are now the best of friends; in fact his son, now 13, says I’m his best friend – his dad just gets to come along!

Good Neighbour CoffeeHouse

This week marks the opening of the new Good Neighbour CoffeeHouse in Lacombe, Alberta.  This is a unique ‘third space’ that emphasizes the personal relationship we have with the farmers, while custom roasting their coffee beans.  We will feature these farmers because of the partnership we have in community development.  With this in mind, we will emphasize our role in community development through neighbourhoods.  We definitely want to promote what we know is a clear Biblical commandment, “to love your neighbour.”  And to start us off this week, we have Jim Diers flying in from Seattle to lead various sessions in Red Deer, which will wind up in our CoffeeHouse on Thursday, Jue 1rst.  He has challenged and changed the city of Seattle with neighbouorhood initiatives over the past years.  See more at http://www.neighborpower.org/

We are excited to have so many people involved with this initiative and look forward to the creative ways in which we can blend (pun intended) business with neighbourhoods.  Let me just say we have a few surprise that may catch the attention of those who look to see their neighbourhood flourish.  Stay Tuned!

You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know

A friend once shared his weird insight.  He said, “You don’t know, what you don’t know.”  The obvious statement seemed to go a little deeper when he said it.  I suppose that is why we have ‘aha’ moments, or why we try to get others to, “See what I mean?”
We are approaching the heart of block party month.  We would like to make resources available to help make it easy for anyone to start a block party.  But perhaps we need to be reminded that the relationships in which we look to engage in our neighbourhoods is of greater value than the block party itself.  We can be overly concerned about numbers and getting the ‘party’ just right at the expense of “loving our neighbours.”  And it is in the loving of neighbours that we most likely have those ‘aha’ moments.  As a result, some have seen neighbours in different light, some have finally gotten to know them in the first place, and still others have been surprised at how neighbours actually want to engage.  But when neighbours eat and share together, it is not uncommon to hear that “their eyes were opened.”
Rick

No More Counting

I had a dream; a dream of some people picketing a block party with signs and slogans that said, “No More Counting!” and “Never mind the Numbers!”  Perhaps I dreamed this dream due to the plethora of people who can preach a great message on how numbers do not matter, but find it hard to apply when it comes to their own evaluations.  Our culture loves to communicate success and measure movement by the numbers.  So when it comes to block parties, for example, we spend a great deal of time on getting the numbers up.  We work hard to make all things presentable.  We treat it much like a function that needs to be successful only to find out at the end of the day we never really engaged in any of that ‘loving your neighbour’ stuff.  But those decorations were GREAT and we didn’t run out of food.  Yet we still needed to ask ourselves the question, “Do you think everyone enjoyed themselves?”

The truth is that a block party is more successful when it focuses on the relationship journey of neighbours.  And if you were wondering about how well you hosted, you may want to consider a ‘third space’ to place a block party next time.  A ‘third space’ is a park, road or any area that is neutral to you and to your neighbours, which means it’s not anyone’s turf.  Therefore, you are free to come and go as you please because its not your party, but instead is owned by all the neighbours.

Let’s make sure that we are not setting ourselves up with expectations that don’t actually count (pun intended).  Instead, set yourself up in a way that provides the greatest opportunity for building relationships.

rick

Saying Grace

Our neighbours longed for their grown children to gather for a brief reunion.  Under normal circumstances this is understandable, but our neighbours revealed they have not talked for a few years.  At this point they were glad just to be able to come together and eat dinner.  It was at the dinner table that the surprise came:  “When we sat down at the dinner table we began by saying that we would say grace.  This created a reaction from one of our children, who obviously wanted the privilege to say grace before the meal. We were astonished to say the least.  But having not talked for so many years as a family, we were not only delighted to be at the table together, but that one of our children was so willing to take the lead at a time like this.”

The beauty was in the story itself, but as neighbours, we were so blessed by their excitement to share this story with us.

Rick

Easter

What is so valuable about the newly built front porch and an Easter egg hunt?

Presence!

Easter is simply about new life we receive from the good news of Christ overcoming death.  Unreal.  Unbelievable.  Actually believable!  Since the good news has been so far removed from our culture, it takes intentional action to engage in those who live around us to help become reacquainted with how good the news is.  Our presence among neighbours is valuable to bridge the good news of Scripture with culture.  Much like two best friends from high school, who find they have very little in common at the 25th reunion, need something to help to help them reconnect.  Just when life seems sucked dry, life is breathed back in.

Clothe Your Neighbour

There is a saying in the Bible that says, “The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and and the one who has food should do the same (John 3:11).”  In today’s western culture we may be hard pressed to find anyone with less than two of anything.  Needless to say, it was our neighbours who have been consistently giving our family their extra clothing.  To be sure, the clothing they give is of great quality.  And it’s not just one piece, it’s four bags full.  This is generosity that came unexpected.  We were simply asked to pass anything on that didn’t fit.  To our surprise, there was a great deal that fit.  The casual men’s shoes, some dressy women’s tops and a few other things fit well.  On that note, I am always learning how there are so many ways that fit how we can love our neighbours.

In all of this, I must say that we can never duplicate what others do, nor should we, but simply keep our neighbours in mind as we live life with love.  We can only do what we are capable of doing and we can only love in ways that we are made to love.  So should we all now develop our own ‘share your clothes with your neighbour’ program?  No, because the way in which one person loves should never dictate your ways of loving, but it should inspire you to take what you are able to do and apply it to loving your neighbours.  This should keep us from saying, “There’s no way I am going to give my clothes to my neighbour….are you nuts?”

Response

This week I responded to an invitation to lead Neigihbourhood Life at a church, and thought it may be a good little piece to share….

 

“Yes.  Sounds good Marc.

And thanks for the opportunity.  I may not be sure what i just said yes to, but its all good.
It may be helpful to know what is expected in terms of time, place….any strategy, hopes, applications, outcome…..or we can wing it!
The possibilities I have offered have been well used so far.  I must admit, I am grateful for the many opportunities, as I am with yours.
Some other situations that may be good to know about:
Other (local) groups have booked me for a couple of training sessions and a teaching series.
A few others have done the same.  The purpose for this is for follow up – one of the main exercises I do is ‘mapping’ which indicates a persons understanding of ones neighbourhood.  The follow up has been typically a month to 6 months.  At that time the mapping exercise and other training tools reveal the various movements in the participating neighbourhoods,  For example in  my home church group we found that the 12 neighbourhoods participating showed there were 127 pieces of ‘progress’ added to the map after 6 months.  This is a new metric, and indicates some movement in the objective of loving neighbours.  The reason I need to share this is that this approach can be quite different from just listening to me speak about this topic or reading the book.
When it comes to groups who are not local….for example, Terrace is booking me for 10 days in the fall with a follow up in January.  Little different approach but helps us get acquainted with this neighbourhood approach.
Having said all that, I can do anything you may find helpful.  I do lead various sessions which unpack the book.  My hot topic is “motivation” (loving our neighbour out of unconditional love as a discipline), “storytelling” and then there’s the mapping stuff…which is very practical and inter generational.  I have also led cultural exercises which are helpful in various circumstances ( for example why we all feel the need to “do” over and above just being present).  I also have led prayer sessions….and led walks in various neighbourhoods.  I have also introduced our Neigbourhood Life tool kit.  Its gets to be fun after a while.
It’s all pretty normal, although it seems scary for some, so I go at the pace one would like without compromising intentionality.
And for the record, I have uncovered some principles that may be good to note:
– That our neighbourhood is our best classroom.
– That we love our neighbour out of abundance, not just need (many think this is setting them up to be a service provider)
– That this is about seeking out where God is at work and how we can join Him, not where we set the agenda and ask God to join us.
– That this is discipleship training.
– That fear and busyness are our worst enemies, and their is something beautiful when we overcome them.
– That we must not think of this in terms of program (ie: it doesn’t start at 7pm), rather as practices, placement and posture.
– That the process of re-imagining where we live is a long process.
Much more to share…..looking forward Marc.”
Rick

A Smokin’ Deal

One contractor created a sauna near the back alley of his home, generating interest from neighbours.  The interested turned this “hot spot” into a connecting place for neighbbours (believe it or not).  There is nothing here for you or I to duplicate.  Neighbouring is much like google; you develop the ‘platform’ and see where it takes you.  Of course, it takes an open mind and an open heart and an imagination that leads to vulnerability, trust and love of neighbour without condition.  The sauna is a surprise to some, but the concept is unique to its unique neighbourhood.

This led the young builder to the next step.  A few of those who gathered in this neighbourhood liked the idea of a neutral space for some of the families to hang out.  It started with the neighbourhood men and a pool table.  One of the men said he wouldn’t mind paying $50 a month to help the cause.  This turned into momentum for this builder’s dream, and so he literally took the growing contributions to the bank.  The bank responded favourably and construction began.  A home for the pool table and a serious ventilation system that would help suck out the smoke from the new cigar club that formed in this same neighbourhood.

Oddly enough, one unwritten rule came into play.  In order for the neighbourhood to grow, family members are encouraged to show up independently as to enhance connecting among neighbours.

Intentional

A simple gathering of neighbourhood leaders from all over Alberta took place this weekend.  The word ‘retreat’ was fitting since our time was gently structured with questions and statements that would make a person think, at the same time allowed us to spend quality time listening to each others stories.  Therefore, the participants also became the presenters and there was no threshold between the front and the back. There was no main stage or speaker and the music was a growing collection of musicians from the families who represented the various neighbourhoods.  Our gathering took place around tables where we would meet each other at random and enter in a discussion about how to love our neighbours.  It seemed that hanging out with people who are intentional about loving their neighbours shed light on how this can be so different from loving without being intentional.

Earlier in the week I went to four different venues in which I presented material on how healthy and vibrant neighbourhoods come to be.  Time well spent!  But this was nothing compared to the intentional delivery of a small coat my wife sewed for the new born in our neighbourhood.  And then, how our retired parks and recreation neighbour felt the need to stop us on our walk to show us his new dog.  Many neighbours had to drive around him, which only created opportunities to acknowledge each other.  And on the way back we decided to knock on a neighbours door to re-invite him and his wife to see our coffee roasting shop (since he has consistently shown great interest in this), and he answered the door mid shave, but with great joy!  The pure motives to love our neighbours can only be surpassed by our intentional efforts.  So often the fear and busyness of life can actually keep us from experiencing life.